Stopping Sasquatch Mating Calls With A Chef’s Hat

by Kelena Klippel

Freshman, English major 

We’ve all been there. The room is dead silent, and out of nowhere a random grumble erupts, echoing throughout the four walls. The perfect acoustics of your surroundings enunciate this Sasquatch mating call, this thundering of Zeus, this unavoidable natural process of peristaltic rumbling.  In order to cease this embarrassing stomach growl, you need to stuff your face hole. But with what? College is chock full of convenient but unhealthy foods at an outrageous price. Is it possible to have a combination of health, convenience, and a good price in food? Yes. Yes, there is.

stock-food-photography

I tried this challenge a few weeks ago, and after contemplating at the store for a couple hours, this was my grocery list (with Wal-Mart prices):

  • Brown rice: $0.18/serving, 170 cal.
  • Non-fat Greek yogurt: $1.13/serving, 150 cal.
  • Whole-wheat bread: $0.18/serving, 120 cal.
  • Oatmeal: $0.13/serving, 150 cal.
  • Russet potatoes: $0.33/serving, 168 cal.
  • Bagged spinach: $1.00/serving, 20 cal.
  • Canned beans: $0.34/serving, 140 cal.
  • Canned marinara sauce: $0.84/serving, 90 cal.
  • Dried lentils: $0.10/serving, 120 cal.
  • Green tea: $0.14/serving, 0 cal.
  • Apples: $0.25/serving, 95 cal.
  • Bananas: $0.15/serving, 105 cal.
  • Almonds: $0.44/serving, 90 cal.
  • Tyson grilled chicken: $0.79/serving, 120 cal.
  • Mozzarella cheese: $0.18/serving, 40 cal.
  • Whole-wheat pasta: $0.21/serving, 150 cal.
  • Tomato soup: $0.87/serving, 90 cal.

With these ingredients, I laid out the menu for the school week. Each meal is under 500 calories and $2.00, which is a dramatic contrast when compared to college choices. Water was used as the beverage for lunch and dinner, and almonds were used as small snacks throughout the day.

Monday

Breakfast: Yogurt with apple and green tea

Lunch: Soup with chopped potato, spinach, beans, lentils

Dinner: Pasta with marinara and chicken

Tuesday

Breakfast: Oatmeal with banana and green tea

Lunch: Salad with spinach and almonds

Dinner: Pizza with whole wheat bread, marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese

Wednesday

Breakfast: Yogurt on toast and green tea

Lunch: Grilled cheese

Dinner: Brown rice and beans

Thursday

Breakfast: Yogurt with apple and green tea

Lunch: Soup with chopped potato, spinach, beans, lentils

Dinner: Chicken and potato

Friday

Breakfast: Oatmeal with banana and green tea

Lunch: Chicken sandwich with cheese, chicken, whole wheat bread, spinach

Dinner: Salad with spinach and almonds

Remember, this is just one of many examples that you can follow to tame your innards. Happy cooking!

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